It seems like summer just started, and somehow we’re already talking about back-to-school shopping, new teachers, and busy schedules again.
For many families, this time of year is filled with buying school supplies, figuring out transportation, signing up for activities, and trying to get everyone back into a routine. It’s a busy season!
But there’s one thing I think often gets overlooked, and it’s just as important as having a backpack or a new pair of shoes: helping our kids feel emotionally ready for the school year ahead.
Over the years, we’ve talked with many parents who tell us, “My child seemed completely fine all summer, and then the week before school they suddenly became anxious.” The truth is—that’s actually pretty common.
Even kids who enjoy school can feel nervous about a new teacher, wondering if their friends will still be in their class, keeping up with homework, or simply adjusting to a new routine. For teens, those worries can get even bigger as they juggle academics, friendships, extracurricular activities, and thinking about their future.
The good news is that a little preparation can go a long way.
Remember That Anxiety Doesn’t Always Look Like Anxiety
One thing many parents are surprised to learn is that anxiety doesn’t always sound like, “I’m nervous.”
Sometimes it shows up as a stomachache before school. Sometimes it’s irritability, trouble sleeping, or suddenly becoming more emotional than usual. Other kids may become quieter, more withdrawn, or complain that they just don’t want to go.
These reactions don’t necessarily mean something is wrong—they’re often a child’s way of saying, “This feels like a big change.”
Start the Conversation Before School Starts
One of the best things you can do is simply start talking about the upcoming school year.
You don’t have to make it a serious conversation. In fact, some of the best discussions happen while you’re driving, making dinner together, or taking the dog for a walk.
You might ask questions like:
- “What are you most excited about this year?”
- “Is there anything you’re a little worried about?”
- “If you could change one thing about school this year, what would it be?”
Sometimes kids will open up right away. Other times they’ll shrug and say, “Nothing.”
That’s okay.
The goal isn’t to get all the answers in one conversation. It’s to let your child know that when they are ready to talk, you’re ready to listen.
Ease Back Into a Routine
Let’s be honest—most families relax their schedules during the summer, and that’s perfectly okay!
But if bedtime has slowly crept later and mornings have become a little more leisurely, try easing back into your school routine a week or two before classes begin.
Small changes can make a big difference. Earlier bedtimes, regular meals, and a predictable morning routine help kids feel more prepared and less overwhelmed when that first day arrives.
Focus on More Than Grades
As parents, it’s natural to wonder how our kids will do academically.
But before they can learn well, they need to feel emotionally supported.
Instead of only asking questions like, “Did you finish your homework?” or “How was your test?” try asking:
- “What was the best part of your day?”
- “Did anything feel difficult today?”
- “Who did you spend time with at school?”
These kinds of conversations remind kids that who they are matters more than the grades they bring home.
It’s Okay to Be Nervous
One of the most reassuring things we can tell our kids is that it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous about something new.
Think about it—even adults get butterflies before starting a new job, giving a presentation, or walking into a room full of people they don’t know.
Kids are no different.
Sometimes simply hearing, “That makes sense,” is exactly what they need.
Your Kids Are Watching You
Our kids learn a lot from how we handle stress as adults.
If they see us taking a deep breath, talking through challenges, asking for help when we need it, and remembering that tough feelings don’t last forever, they’ll begin learning those same skills themselves.
Let’s face it, none of us model this perfectly all the time—and that’s okay. What matters most is showing our kids that it’s normal to have emotions and healthy ways to work through them.
When Should You Reach Out for Support?
Some first-week jitters are completely normal and usually fade as kids settle into their new routines.
But if your child continues struggling after several weeks, refuses to go to school, experiences frequent panic, or seems unusually withdrawn or overwhelmed, it may be a sign they could benefit from some additional support.
Reaching out early doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent. It simply means you’re giving your child another tool to help them succeed.
One Last Thought
If there’s one thing I’d encourage parents to remember this school year, it’s this:
You don’t have to have all the answers.
Your child isn’t looking for a perfect parent. They’re looking for someone who will listen, reassure them, and remind them they’re not alone.
Sometimes the most meaningful question we can ask is simply,
“How can I support you today?”
That simple question can open the door to conversations that help children feel safe, understood, and confident as they head into a new school year.
At Campbell Teen & Family Therapy, we know every child is different, and every family has its own unique challenges. Whether your child is experiencing anxiety, school-related stress, friendship struggles, or simply having a hard time adjusting to change, we’re here to help.
Our goal is to partner with families, helping children and teens build confidence, resilience, and healthy coping skills so they can thrive—not just in school, but in every stage of life.
If you would like to learn more about our services or schedule an appointment, please call us at (408) 628-0532 or email us at admin@campbellteenfamilytherapy.com. We are here to support teens and families every step of the way.
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